Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Thank you, Bonnie!

Add me to your long list of thankful well wishers!

The Brunches, the blog rolls, and even the keyword chaos are all wonderful features I enjoy regularly.

Bonnie, you really have had an amazing impact. 

Thank you so much for all you do!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

How many am I getting?

That is the universal question. As soon as he finds out he's in trouble, every boy about to find his bottom stinging seems to want to know exactly what he's in for.

And it's always such a dilemma, because it's not a question I can answer.

I don't really use set numbers for spanking. I feel they are counter productive. 

It's understandable that the boy wants an answer. Having a number helps cut it down to size. A clear definition takes a spanking from being the big scary unknown to something manageable, bearable. They know the exact  size of the challenge and can gird themselves to meet it.

But sometimes that's not what you really want. It's not what he needs. If the goal is true penance, true remorse, then a challenge the mind can embrace and defeat is the worst thing you can have. 

Such things have their place, but when you're trying to take someone into a specific emotional space the mind is an obstacle, not a ally. It is the mind's job to protect those vulnerable emotional spaces. Uncertainty helps soften the barriers the mind puts around them and makes letting them down easier than it otherwise would be.

This isn't just about making it easier on you. It's about making it easier on him. The harder he fights, the higher the risk that you may actually do harm. This is not desirable. We want to gently bend, not break.

Still, even with the walls softened it is hard to know exactly what getting past them will take.

Everyone is different and even someone I have spanked many times is different from time to time. I have a very good idea of what they can take and how they will react but nature has it's own way. 

If I were to set an absolute number of strokes I might low ball it and not push him far enough to achieve the catharsis he needs.

And after he's taken though 10 or 20 or however many and it's not enough I can't very well stand there and say "oh, I've changed my mind, you need 20 more." That breaks trust and erodes credibility. Not healthy for a relationship at any stage.

Or if I guess too high then we are faced with the unpleasant choice of my either having to again change my mind, or he may be forced to ask the scene to stop  and even though that's 100% ok, he'll likely still feel he failed if he can't get through the whole number.

Or worst, perhaps, if he forces himself to go through with more than he can or should take he may find himself either physically or emotionally damaged.

No, there's just no good option there.

So when he asks how many, I say "it depends", "we'll see" or just "I won't count, I'm just going to keep going until you're good and sorry."

That way I make sure he gets exactly however many he needs and not one swat more. 

And he can always be a brave boy and take it, because the challenge can just happen to be whatever he can take right then.

That way we both win.

I like that.

~Lady Koregan

Monday, October 8, 2012

Base BLUE balls

It was a terrible baseball season here in Denver. The Rockies had the kind of season that leads one to imagine ancient curses seeping out of old graves beneath the stadium or the ghosts of restless players who can only be redeemed in the middle of a corn field.

Yes, it was THAT bad. 

Record number of losses for a single season.

The team manager resigning in disgrace.

Pitchers being chased down the 16th St mall with pitchforks and torches....

A very ugly picture.

But who I really felt bad for was PC. He has loved the game of baseball since about the time he could walk. He's played, he now coaches, he follows the season faithfully.  His office is fairly spartan, but with the exception of one picture, what decor he does have is all baseball related. 

There's a jersey on the wall above his conference table.  It's autographed by his boyhood hero.

So when I heard him say he totally lost interest in the game this season it about broke my heart.  Mr. Baseball just didn't care this year.

Not that I could blame him, but it still just wouldn't do.  Something had to done.

It was about then that I realized he hadn't been in chastity for awhile, and genius struck.

So I told him for the rest of the season he could only come if the Rockies won a game.  That caught his attention. 

That was back in August, and the Rockies just played their last game last week. (They actually one that one.) The season had a few ups, but many, many downs, which made for a very long couple of months for PC.

But it certainly kept him interested. 

~Lady Koregan